WHAT IS BEAUTY?

This blog will be a state of vulnerability, a place I have never been before or admitted to others. So, bear with me… and I pray this will also be a place of refuge for you.

I am very excited to write these various blog posts that I will be posting throughout this week. I have needed to express these thoughts for some time now. What is true beauty? I have pondered upon this thought time and time again… I feel that over years of seeking, I am now barely coming to scratch the surface of understanding what it means to be truly beautiful. I am finally coming to see what really matters…

We have always heard the statement: “Everyday is the first day of the rest of your life…” or “Today is the start of something new!” etc. Yeah, I know that. It’s one of those cute cliché Pinterest quotes that you see, pin it to your “Life Sayings” board on move on to the next. But what would happen if we actually began to apply it? Today, March 24th 2014, I decided to begin. Today was the beginning of my healing process.

Operation 1: Love myself.

I have suffered my entire life with self-image issues. It wasn’t until the last year of my life when I began to see that this plague was infecting my life, and I needed to rid myself of it. Ever since I can remember, I wished I were skinnier… at the age of 12 years old I would post sticky notes around the house telling myself to eat less or to stop eating completely. I would come home from school every day and there underneath my mattress I hid a tape measure and a notebook, keeping record everyday of the inches I was losing… I had a problem. I don’t remember how long that lasted for, but even though I stopped with the measurements, that didn’t stop the constant battle my brain was raging inside of me. I was constantly comparing myself to others and belittling myself for who I wasn’t. I was comparing my weaknesses to others strengths… and feeling like I was nothing. As Sister Holland says it, “I seemed to have a real knack for fighting life’s battles on two or three or four fronts at once—and I took a lot of needless shrapnel as a result.” (Sept. 1988, Be Renewed In The Spirit of Your Mind, byu.speeches.edu) I would allow the world to impact my views of myself telling me to look a certain way and to be a certain way. I was confused and I couldn’t fully love others because I couldn’t love myself. I look back now and I see that many of my actions throughout my life were determined because of these negative thoughts that Satan was throwing at me. It wasn’t until I relied upon my Father in Heaven, that I began to see what true beauty really is and what He sees in me. As Sister Dalton teaches us, ‘Deep beauty is the kind of beauty that shines from the inside out. It is the kind of beauty that cannot be painted on, surgically created, or purchased. It is the kind of beauty that doesn’t wash off. It is spiritual attractiveness. Deep beauty springs from virtue. It is the beauty of being chaste and morally clean. It is the kind of beauty that you see in the eyes of virtuous women like your mother and grandmother. It is a beauty that is earned through faith, repentance, and honoring covenants.’ (Apr. 2010, Remember Who You Are!) This is what we must see in ourselves.

I need to say this now, because it defines everything about me: My Brother, Jesus Christ, will redeem us from all things. We can and will be set free from all of our weaknesses. Christ not only took upon Himself the pain and the sicknesses of all of us, but He also took upon Himself our infirmities... What does infirmities mean? Weaknesses. "He will take upon him their infirmities [weaknesses], that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities [weaknesses]." (Alma 7:12, The Book of Mormon.) I trust in Him, and have faith that I can be made whole. I ache at the thought of His suffering, but how humble it makes me that He did this for me, that I can be healed and become as He is someday. Because of our Savior and His Atonement, He will set us free as we come unto Him and cleave to Him. I cannot overcome these battles on my own, never could I do that. But my Beloved Savior gives me hope each day. I am changed, and will continue to be changed because of Him. I preface with this because it moves me to my next point, I began to be healed when I was on my mission.

As I look back I see the hand of my Heavenly Father in the details of my life, and I explain it in a way that He simply picked me up on a good path I was on, and placed me somewhere better. He placed me on my mission where I was able to learn what becoming converted is; I was able to learn that true joy comes as we forget ourselves as focus upon His children and bringing them unto Christ. I also learned my self-worth and potential, I was able to find healing when I didn’t know I was in need of it. He always knows what we stand in need of.

My mission was just the start to this journey. I have been home now for over a year, and my trial of self-image issues and lack of confidence only has deepened. But I have come to understand my potential clearer than ever before! I see who I can be and my worth as a daughter of God. I see that our role as daughters, and someday Goddesses, is divine. Our trials today are building us to become this. How grateful I am for the opportunity to grow and change! Just as Nephi exclaims: “I am encompassed about, because of the tempations and the sins which do so easily beset me. And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted. My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep. He hath filled me with his love, even unto the consuming of my flesh. He hath confounded mine enemies, unto the causing of them to quake before me.” (2 Nephi 4:18-22, The Book of Mormon.) This is what He has done for me, and will do for all of us. He confounds those enemies in our lives: the enemy of comparison. The enemy of lack of confidence. The enemy of the world. The power of His Atonement and His love makes it possible for them to quake before us. I know this to be true.

So my daily walk of healing starts TODAY. Over the next week I have made a choice to not wear makeup. To me, this is a statement that I can love my natural self even with my flaws, and that others can love me and see me for who I really am. It’s being vulnerable. A step to feeling comfortable in my own skin. This will be my week to start my new journey of healing for the rest of my life; it will be the beginning of new and healthy thinking of my life, my body and myself. It will be a daily reliance upon my Savior. I know I can do this, but I cannot do this without Him!

So here I go... CHANGE STARTS NOW.

ALEX

My name is Alex Coats, I love to rock climb and do ANYTHING outdoors. I love to laugh and have adventures. I am a hair stylist, adventure-craving, happy-go-lucky, Nebraska loving girl. I'm a lover not a fighter. And I’m a Mormon.

That about sums me up. In simplicity, that is what makes up who I am. I love to be happy. What makes me happy is the Gospel of Jesus Christ, my family and friends and nature. I find joy in accomplishments and achieving bucket-list dreams. And I firmly believe that with faith in Jesus Christ, all things are possible!

As you have read with Teri and her introduction, we are a family of 5. Teri is my oldest sister and we have a little brother, McCabe:  they are my best friends. I am currently at BYU-Idaho going to school to be a motivational speaker for delinquent teens. I have been home from my mission to Nebraska Omaha for a year now, and Nebraska still holds a very special place in my heart. My mission means the world to me, I still think of it daily and recognize the change that it created in my life. I had the privilege of also serving at the Winter Quarters Mormon Trail Center, teaching and testifying of the Pioneers and their journey to Zion. This place is sacred ground to me.

As I have said, I love the outdoors and teaching! Because of this, I’ve had the opportunity of working at Badger Creek-AFY over the summer(s) as a counselor for youth. This was by far the best job I have ever had. I lived under a handcart or in a tent all summer and was able to mentor the youth through devotionals and sacred learning experiences. Through this my desire is to help the youth and others come to understand their deep worth and potential within themselves.

Through out my life I faced many battles with lack of self-confidence and self-esteem, body image issues, and anything of the sort. I was living in my own personal battlefield; not only fighting against the temptations of the world, but also against my own ammo that I was beating myself with. I am grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the strength that it has given me to overcome these temptations. It is still a daily working process, a constant reliance upon the Atonement to overcome. This is why I am looking forward to this blog with my sister: through our joined experiences and trials, our prayer is that we can be used as instruments to help bless and encourage others to find hope in their lives. As you read our blogs and experiences, may you see that all things can be done and achieved through Jesus Christ.

TERI

I’ve never been very good with introductions, so I will do my best here. My name is Teri, and as of now, I’m twenty-six years old, and I’m the oldest out of three kids. I grew up mainly in Orem, Utah, but my family moved to Heber right before my sophomore year of high school, so I graduated as a Wasatch Wasp. I claim Orem more than I do Heber, because I lived there longer, and most of my friends that I’ve kept over the years are from Orem. Since then I’ve moved around a bit, mostly staying in Utah County, but dabbling in Salt Lake County and Wasatch County. I’m currently attending school at UVU, majoring in Behavioral Science with a minor in Family Studies. I love the outdoors. I’m definitely not an adrenaline junkie, but I do love adventures. I like trying new things, although I’m typically hesitant at doing so. Hiking is a favorite family pastime, and I look forward to the warm weather each year so that we can plan our yearly, family hiking trips. I also enjoy rock climbing and ice climbing, but I consider them more of a leisurely hobby. I love building things, and working with my hands. I will admit, I tend to jump from hobby to hobby, quickly becoming bored of one, and moving on to another. But I go back to each one after a period of time. Watercolor for one month, Pyrography for another, which then leads to making hemp bracelets, or refinishing furniture. I love baseball, and I’m a diehard Boston Red Sox fan. I enjoy reading when I have the time, but tend to enjoy realistic fiction, bibliographies, and non-fiction crime books. I love psychology, and anything that has to do with it. I like purchasing Native American Paraphernalia, and I collect sand from places I’ve hiked to, or beaches I’ve visited. I love the ocean, but I also love the mountains, and so someday living in a place that has both would be lovely.

          Some short background history about myself; again, I’m the oldest of three children, and the oldest grandchild, on both sides of our families. My father grew up a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and my mother became a convert in her teenage years. I am a Mormon, and a practicing Mormon, at that. I don’t wish to “label” myself, but being a member of the LDS church is a very big part of my life, and it is important to me. I have not always been an active member of the church. In fact, out of my twenty-six years of being alive on this earth, it’s safe for me to say that most of my life I have been inactive. I have a strong testimony of the church, and it will be something I talk about in this blog, as well as my journey in becoming the person I am today.

            Now, I feel like I should explain why I’m starting my portion of this blog. I will be the first to admit I was never, ever, planning on writing a blog. I’m not one to openly talk about myself, my situations, or even my thoughts and beliefs to those I am not close to (And when I say close, I can count on one hand the few people I open up to). And to be honest, I really am not sure what I’m going to write about going forward. My sister and I both had a simple thought; a prompting, that we should start a blog, and the idea has both manifested itself and blossomed from there. So in this blog, I feel that we may both share our ideas, hopes, and dreams, but also share our stories, past, present, and ones we may have in the future. These stories may be intertwined, as we have shared our journeys as sisters; as friends, but they will also be separate, as we have traveled on paths of our own. By sharing the stories of our lives, we hope that by doing so, we may touch the lives of those that read them.