Here goes my first post! Please bear with me through each of these. I hope and pray that as I post each one, that not only will they get better with time, but they will be beneficial, helpful, insightful, etc., to someone who reads them.

My Happiness Project: Finding Yourself

Over eight months ago, I was a completely different person. My life was a roller coaster of events, both positive and negative, but I was slowly going down a path in life that I didn’t want to travel, and in doing so, it was changing me into someone I didn’t want to be. So I changed.

Now let’s not jump ahead of ourselves, this was not something that happened overnight, or even within a month. It has been a slow, slow process. I would compare it to the tortoise and the hair, only that the race hasn’t ended yet. But because of the LDS gospel, and our Savior, I have an answer to how it could turn out, if I keep moving forward in the right direction, with my Savior’s help each step of the way.

I was not an active member of the church eight months ago, and this was not my first time being inactive in my life. I have never stopped believing in the gospel, or any of its teachings, but I had decided to take a break from it all. I wasn’t living my life the way I should, and I had made some choices that in turn, caused a negative domino effect toward other choices. I had become a stranger to myself in some ways, and I felt an emptiness--a sadness in my life.

--Now, as a side note, I love self-help books. I love any type of informative book, that helps you learn more about yourself, about others, about improving, expanding your ideas on different things, enlightenment, how the mind works, and the list goes on and on.--

As each day passed, I continued to fall deeper into this black hole of negativity. I stumbled across a book that I had purchased several months before, called, “The Happiness Project” by Gretchen Rubin, and figured it might be worth it to finally start reading. It wasn’t what I had expected, but it was better in so many ways. In a nutshell, this wonderful woman talks about how she wanted to find more happiness in her life, and that it wasn’t just going to fall in her lap, she had to find it, create it, and BE it. She sets goals for herself each month, and talks about what they are, and how they helped her, etc. So, I started setting some goals for myself. At this time, I was about 30-35 lbs. overweight, and it depressed me each day. I had a gym pass, but I just had no motivation to go. My goal for the first month was to go to the gym, 3-5 times a week, even if I had to go by myself. I wrote down my goal and posted it next to my bedroom door, so that I could see it every day. As I started working out on a regular basis I started feeling better, emotionally, mentally, and physically. My self-esteem was improving, I was slowly dropping weight and toning out, and it gave me motivation to eat healthier. I was becoming happier. But a month was passing by, and it still felt like I wasn’t quite myself.

Now, while I was inactive, I always knew I would find my way back to the church. I wish I had never fallen away, but we learn from our choices, and keep moving forward. I kept feeling drawn to go back to church, but kept putting it off. Was I really ready to give up my lifestyle? But as each day passed, I knew that I wanted the gospel back in my life. I knew it with every fiber of my being. How could I keep ignoring the truths I knew (have always known), and expect to come out of the negativity I had created in my life? So, I started with baby steps. For the month of September, my list of goals were as follows:

#1. Continue working out 3-5 times a week.

#2. Read your scriptures daily.

#3. Pray each night.

           I was vigilant in keeping my goals. I focused more on them then I thought I was even capable of, and as the weeks went by, I was changing more and more as the hand of God touched my life. I started going back to church, and giving up the things that I knew were harmful to my progress. As I was allowing the gospel back into my life, God was changing me into the person I needed to be. I was happier, even though every step along the way wasn’t easy. There were some things I had to overcome and repent of, but He held me up every step of the way. I’m still pushing to move forward each day. It’s not always easy, and I am by no means perfect. I still fall and struggle with different temptations, as does everyone, but I’ve learned not to give up; not to lose hope. That’s what I did before, was lose all hope, and losing hope is one of the most damning things to one’s soul. We all make mistakes, and some are bigger than others, but that is never a reason to give up on yourself, or on that which matters most. I’ve learned how important it is to make goals, in every shape and form. Whether it’s as small as trying to look for the good in others each day, or as big as going back to school to receive your degree, setting goals improves you in ways that you may have never thought possible, and boosts confidence in yourself, your capabilities. We need goals to grow, and we should never stop learning and growing. I’ve have been so blessed by our Father in Heaven. He doesn’t give up on me, He leads me and guides me, and most important, He loves me and knows of my potential, and wants me to meet that potential! What’s even more humbling, is that He feels the same way about each of His children, and He is more than willing to help us find who we are, and what we can become, as long as we are willing to listen to Him.

           I continue to work on my happiness goals each month, and with each one I set and accomplish, I have the fulfillment to continue moving forward and progressing. I don’t always accomplish each goal, and some really take a lot of work, perseverance, dedication, and yes, failure time and time again. But I’ve learned to not give up. Never give up.